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CodyTheFreak.net
 

10,000 Hits

 

Hell, yeah! November (which, at the time of writing, still has 19 hours left in it) is far-and-away the busiest month in CTF history. November's 10882 hits (so far) easily eclipses August-2002's 6747. This is fucking great, I can't even tell you how good it feels; and not only is the site getting thousands more hits than usual, I'm also a porn king.

 

Why, you ask?

 

porn.php, the frontend for Skimmer2, my porn search engine, is getting almost 3/4ths of the hits. People are suddenly linking to Skimmer from all over the place, which is cool, because I put a shitload of work into it, and it seems more worthwhile when others frequently use it. Since the site won't get Slashdotted unless I write something coherent, the best I can hope for is getting Farked. -sigh-, maybe one day.

 

Retrospect: 125 Days of Pizza

  125 days ago, with encouragement from coworkers and my roommate, I set out on a challenge: to eat a slice of Blondies Pizza every day. It was no teamster-style challenge--I went every day, including weekends, holidays, and over Spring Break, through sleet and snow and all those crooked bums on Telegraph. (No, I will not give you mony for pot, you motherfucker, that was only amusing the first 100 times. If you want my money, be original and ask me to help you get a bite to eat.)
 

But I digress, the point of this story is that my goal was to go through the last day of finals, May 25, or challenge day 124. Furthermore, I threw a huge party on Saturday night to celebrate the challenge, and eat the last slice (after midnight, counting for day 125, a nice round number), and have tons of booze left over. And, since I promised my mom a long time ago that I would never drink alone, you need to come over and help me finish these beers.'

 

Come on, I'm waiting. This beer isn't going to drink itself. Boy, if it did, that'd be some sight. Oh, also, there will be pictures from this party. Stay tuned.

 

Acacia's in the News

 

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead--your next stop... a dry frat party.

 

Ed Meng to Open Clit-folding Business

 

Ed Meng, a local socialite and fellow double-major, has hinted at the nature of his summer project for 2002: clit folding. Meng was quoted as saying, "hey i gotta piss and take a nap and fold clits," before practicing for the American Clitoris Association exam (or "clixam"), which lasts five grueling hours.

 

Presumably, Meng would set up a chain of clit-folding franchises in and around Berkeley, dedicated to the ancient, and long lost Laotian art. Such businesses usually cater to lonely single or widowed women who prefer the hands of a stranger to autoerotic stimulation. Of course, since clit-folding is illegal in forty eight states, including California, such businesses would front as massage parlors, or supermarkets, much like Andronicos.

 

Meng would not enjoy a monopoly on clit-folding, though. Sources reveal that Meng's franchise would compete against under-the-table businesses running in the Andronico's sea-food section, in the back room of Yogurt Park, and amateur clit-folders living in nearly every fraternity around campus. Representatives from these fraternities say they encourage Ed, and hope Ed's franchise clit-folding parlors will create job opportunities for many amateur clit-folders.

 

That Wiley Matlock

 

A friend of mine did something incredibly geeky the other day when he sent me the Matlock theme song (sorry, Rickey, ya'll can't deny it). Yes, that's right, the Matlock theme song, as in, the theme to Matlock.

 

Since then, I've found myself going through the stages of Matlock. First, I thought it was hilarious, and played it for Pradeep. Then, as the song was finishing, I just barely avoided throwing it in the trash. Next, I started to accept Matlock, listening to the song casually, and playing it for guests (who were back in step #1, amusement). Lastly, I've reached the state of remorse. I don't know why I like the Matlock theme, but I'm not comfortable with it. This is all very upsetting. I'm afraid that I might end up sending the Matlock theme to someone else, some day, at which time, I will have hit rock bottom.

 

This source code is GPL. Thank you.